ampersandSelected unserious writing:

What to Do if You or Someone Else Accidentally Consumes News (The Belladonna)

Non-Essential Oils (Slackjaw)

Hello, I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door (McSweeney’s, where it was the 11th-most-read piece of 2019!)

Congratulations, It’s a Pink! (McSweeney’s)

Living Will Template for Critically Endangered Species (The Revelator)

OP-ED: As a Cavewoman, I’m Grateful We’ve Solved This Sexual Harassment Problem Once and For All (The Belladonna)

Memorandum to the White House: It’s Time to Let Donald Cry It Out (The Belladonna)

A Game of Thrones Script by Me, Someone Who Has Never Seen Game of Thrones (Slackjaw)

Cumins of New York (The Hairpin)

FAQ: Nursing Your Newborn Abject Despair (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)

If My Editor Were a Plastic Surgeon From the Reality TV Show “Botched” (The Hairpin)

How Not to Write a College Essay (Cicada)

Your Thirty-Year Life Performance Review (The Toast)

Welcome to LinkedAnd, the Networking Site for Conjunctions! (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)

List: Phrases Used to Market Bic for Her Pens or Tampax Pearl Tampons? (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)