Selected unserious writing:
This Bullet Journal Will Fix Everything (Submittable)
You’re Training for a Half-Marathon? Cool, I’m Doing Kegels (McSweeney’s)
What to Do if You or Someone Else Accidentally Consumes News (The Belladonna)
Non-Essential Oils (Slackjaw)
Hello, I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door (McSweeney’s, where it was the 11th-most-read piece of 2019)
Congratulations, It’s a Pink! (McSweeney’s)
Living Will Template for Critically Endangered Species (The Revelator)
OP-ED: As a Cavewoman, I’m Grateful We’ve Solved This Sexual Harassment Problem Once and For All (The Belladonna)
Memorandum to the White House: It’s Time to Let Donald Cry It Out (The Belladonna)
A Game of Thrones Script by Me, Someone Who Has Never Seen Game of Thrones (Slackjaw)
Cumins of New York (The Hairpin)
FAQ: Nursing Your Newborn Abject Despair (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)
If My Editor Were a Plastic Surgeon From the Reality TV Show “Botched” (The Hairpin)
How Not to Write a College Essay (Cicada)
Your Thirty-Year Life Performance Review (The Toast)
Welcome to LinkedAnd, the Networking Site for Conjunctions! (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)
List: Phrases Used to Market Bic for Her Pens or Tampax Pearl Tampons? (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)
