What to Do if You or Someone Else Accidentally Consumes News (The Belladonna)

Non-Essential Oils (Slackjaw)

Hello, I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door (McSweeney’s)

Congratulations, It’s a Pink! (McSweeney’s)

Living Will Template for Critically Endangered Species (The Revelator)

OP-ED: As a Cavewoman, I’m Grateful We’ve Solved This Sexual Harassment Problem Once and For All (The Belladonna)

Memorandum to the White House: It’s Time to Let Donald Cry It Out (The Belladonna)

A Game of Thrones Script by Me, Someone Who Has Never Seen Game of Thrones (Slackjaw)

Cumins of New York (The Hairpin)

FAQ: Nursing Your Newborn Abject Despair (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)

If My Editor Were a Plastic Surgeon From the Reality TV Show “Botched” (The Hairpin)

How Not to Write a College Essay (Cicada)

Your Thirty-Year Life Performance Review (The Toast)

Welcome to LinkedAnd, the Networking Site for Conjunctions! (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)

List: Phrases Used to Market Bic for Her Pens or Tampax Pearl Tampons? (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency)


Protest as Practice (Orion)

The Baby Equinox and Charles Darwin (The Last Word on Nothing)

What the Rosy Hare Told Me about Writing for Kids (Communication Breakdown)


My poems have been published in Found Poetry ReviewSalamander, Stone Canoe, Stone Canoe online, and Sugar House Review.

As Elizabeth Bishop said, “There’s nothing more embarrassing than being a poet, really.”